This year, I learned what I think will be one of my most important life lessons. You will never find or earn happiness. You are responsible for creating or choosing  your own happiness. If you’re willing to try, you can find happiness. Even against all odds.

I’ve tested this. I’ve tested this through unemployments, through watching my mom’s gruesome battle with cancer, through my mom’s death, and through many trying parenting days. I tested this when my anxiety was at an all time high, and when I could have let depression take over.

I’m training myself to pick happiness.

Full disclosure, I allow myself  a “bummed out” day, or an intense shower cry every now and then, but I try not to wallow in it.

But I have pinpointed something that is stealing my happiness away; social media. I dread social media, and I hate the control it has over me as a photographer, blogger and business owner.

Lately, I have had an unquenchable desire for a certain happiness that is becoming more difficult to find in our social media obsessed, technology driven, world.

I’m craving more days when e-mails go unread, calls go unanswered and t.v.’s turned off.

More days with sunbeams kissing our cheeks and sand (or mud, I am not picky)massaging our toes.

More morning walks through dewy grass, listening to the songbirds.

More mornings spent in bed with a cup of hot coffee, a stack of books and someone to cuddle with.

More days with no plans, no agendas, just a picnic and a desire for an adventure.

More face to face connections with new people.

More sitting with friends, sharing delicious meals, swapping stories and sipping wine.

More friendships that nurture and inspire.

More dopamine dumps at the dog park.

 

More family bike rides.

More messy bubble baths.

I’m craving a life with more. Not more things or more accomplishments, but more memories and personal growth.

This year, I’ve made my peace with falling behind on work and not having a schedule full of programs for a preschooler. This year, I want to take life a little slower. And weirdly, this year, I just want to sink my toes and fingers into some mud pies. This year, I’ll fight for happiness, even when it goes against the rhythm of the world around me.

How do you find your happiness?