What I Didn’t Know | Pregnancy Diaries | Pt.4

What I Didn’t Know | Pregnancy Diaries | Pt.4

What I Didn’t Know | Pregnancy Diaries | Pt.4

 

Bazillionth Cry Anna Angenend Photography ©
My sister and I used to look over at my mom tearing up during a sappy movie and roll our eyes at each other or giggle to ourselves. My mom would quickly grab a tissue to hide her face, or wipe away her tears and laugh at herself along with us.
“SHE’S. SO. EMOTIONAL.”
I thought.
But I didn’t know much back then.
I didn’t know what it felt like to have four kids, who each somehow had all of your heart. And every time you saw a kid in danger, you saw a bit of your own child in them, and you hoped your child would never be in their situation. And you wished that no child would ever have to be in any bad situation, because you knew someone’s heart was breaking because of it.
I didn’t know what it was like to share a love and a life with a partner, who made you better the longer you were together, and who was a light in your world, and a constant companion through joy and sorrow. I didn’t know what it was like to get swept up in the love story of each character, because you had experienced a bit of those highs and lows yourself.
I didn’t know what it was like to have friendships lasting 20+ years. So many memories together,  that those people had become a part of you, a part of your story, and you couldn’t imagine your life without them, but you could imagine the pain of losing them if you ever had to.
I didn’t know what it was like to have your heart so swollen with long lasting, deep, passionate, wreckless love, that sometimes it felt like it would burst from happiness, sometimes it cracks from sorrow, and sometimes a dark hole is left where there has been loss.
I didn’t know what it was like to feel a little bit of what every character in a movie is feeling, in some small way, yourself.
Yeah, even the cheesy movies.
I didn’t know what it was like to feel all that…
now mix it up with a large dose of hormones. Good golly!
😭             😭         😭
So I may try to hide my “silly” tears from my daughter when almost every single movie I watch, or even a song I hear, will make me cry, but one day she’ll know. One day she’ll get it. I hope I’m there to grab some tissues and cry along with her.

www.annaangenend.com

San Antonio | TX | Lifestyle | Blogger | Photographer | Pregnancy |Mom Life

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